Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo: “If Taylor Swift ever wants to make a rock album, I’d love to help out!”

“Wannabeezer?”

WRONG. You play the lead singer of Sailor’s Delight, who gets into a fight with Homer Simpson.

“That was super fun. We were in the studio with a bunch of professional actors, and I would read a line and they’d say ‘Can you try it again but a little more sassy?’ or ‘Do it more frustrated’, and then they picked their favourite reading. I like voice acting because there’s no camera, nobody’s watching you, and you can just have fun playing different characters. I recently enjoyed playing a musical pigeon called Feathers in the CBBC program Yukee.”

“Liam Gallagher!”

CORRECT.

“We did a whole set of Oasis covers under the pseudonym Goat Punishment [in 1998]. It was a real education because it was on the heels of [1996’s] ‘Pinkerton’, which is a very tortured, personal, confessional and musically-progressive album, and then I got interested in Oasis because they’re the opposite of that – they’re very broad, universal lyrics, and simple songs with chords that anyone could play, and I wanted to really get inside their way of doing things, so we learned a bunch of their songs and played a show.”

You also performed another Goat Punishment show consisting solely of Nirvana songs. Would it mean a lot to the Kurt Cobain-obsessed young Rivers that Courtney Love has previously approved of Weezer’s Nirvana covers? You’ve been tackling Hole’s ‘Celebrity Skin’ live on your latest tour…

“Yeah. Courtney is a real icon to our generation, and feels like our big sister. You really want somebody like that to approve of what you’re doing and Kurt didn’t live long enough to hear us – he died a month before [in April 1994] our ‘Blue’ album came out, but I’m assuming he would not have approved of us. But that Courtney does is pretty great.”

Why do you feel Kurt Cobain wouldn’t have approved of Weezer?

“It seemed like the music he looked up to was rougher around the edges, more punk, and less commercial.”

“Matt Damon?”

CORRECT.

“I’ve never seen it. [Laughs] I’ve heard about it. It struck me as unbelievable!”

In the skit, Matt Damon plays a “ride or die” Weezer fan, while “purist” Leslie Jones argues that “real Weezer fans know that they haven’t had a good album since ‘Pinkerton’” and  claims she “understands Rivers better than he understands himself”…

[Laughs] “It’s nice that ‘Pinkerton’ has very passionate fans now ‘cause when it came out, it felt like nobody liked it but now some people really do like and it means the world to them, so it makes playing those songs a lot more fun!”

“Um… I don’t know!” [Laughs]

WRONG. It was 2014’s ‘Sucker’. You co-wrote the track ‘Hanging Around’ with her. 

“Yeah, that’s right! Charli XCX is cool.”

Do you have a favourite track you’ve written for another artist?

“I did one with the rapper B.o.B called ‘Magic’. It was originally supposed to be a Weezer song but we couldn’t get it right in the studio, so we gave it to him. We – Weezer – have played that one live a few times in recent years and I get to do the rap part.”

“This was in 2002, so I don’t remember 22 years ago! [Laughs] I have no idea but I’m going to guess Animal and Gonzo are in there?”

WRONG. Close! Gonzo, Kermit the Frog and Pepé the King Prawn don Weezer shirts. Drummer Patrick Wilson is held captive by Miss Piggy.

“I grew up with The Muppets so it was mind-blowing to be in the same room as them.”

“I recognise that! That sounds very familiar! [Sings] ‘Why don’t we see who is the wizard….’ Is that from the song ‘Represent’? I have no idea what the next lyric is though unfortunately!”

WRONG. It is indeed from Weezer’s ‘Represent’, your unofficial anthem for the US men’s soccer team (which was adopted by them) for the 2010 FIFA World Cup. The rest of the lyrics are: “I think you’ll find me sympathetic to ya/When I’ve won”.

[Laughs] “Oh my god, that’s funny! I used to be a big soccer fan, but I quit following it 11 years ago in January 2013 when I received a diagnosis of a problem in my knee and was told from that day on, I couldn’t play soccer any more. Once I realised I couldn’t play, it became too emotionally painful to watch the sport and I haven’t since.”

“Well, I’m surprised they even rated it at all. Most of the press ignored the ‘Blue’ album when it came out, but I’m going to say 4/10?”

WRONG. 7/10.

“Argh, I find that hard to believe! [Laughs] Do you have proof?! I’d put money on that being a retrospective review!”

You’ve been reading over your journals from that time for the celebrations this year. Anything surprise you in retrospect?

“The one thing that struck me was how physically close we all were, not just the four of us, but there was a whole crowd of young men, packed into very small apartments in a very small part of Los Angeles, who were just constantly hanging out and talking, debating and discussing music and style, and we didn’t even have television sets back then so there was very little to distract us. And obviously we had no wives, children or girlfriends.

“When we released the ‘Blue’ album, I definitely felt like it was the greatest album of all time. I figured there was a chance I was wrong, but to me, it was my favourite album of all time and I assumed other people would feel the same way.”

What do you think the secret of its enduring appeal is?

“Singable, beautiful melodies, heavy guitars and important-feeling lyrics that don’t take themselves too seriously.

“Right now, we’re designing our fall tour which is a celebration of the ‘Blue’ album so we want to have lots of cool special effects. We’re going to be in outer space flying towards this blue planet and it’ll be our biggest production ever.”

“Hmmmn… I think it was something like 992? I know it was less than 1,000!”

CORRECT-ISH. Close enough – it was 990. The drummer from Milwaukee band Diet Lite spent three years from 2020 attempting to gain your attention.

[Laughs] “I took particular joy in preventing him from reaching that milestone of 1,000! That’s my perverse pleasure!”

Talking of online campaigns: one of the most high-profile was when you released a cover of Toto’s ‘Africa’ in 2018 following a fan-led Twitter push – and then Toto responded by covering Weezer’s ‘Hash Pipe’…

“A lot of times our fans have good ideas. I definitely didn’t write ‘Hash Pipe’ with the intention of getting Toto to cover it – that was a surprise! I have to say, it’s quite surreal. I had originally offered ‘Hash Pipe’ to Ozzy Osbourne. I’d written the song with nobody in mind, and then Ozzy’s camp reached out to my manager and asked if we had a song, so I sent him ‘Hash Pipe’. He didn’t have any use for it at the time, so we ended up using it ourselves. We didn’t think it was going to work for Weezer. It seemed like an odd fit for us, but it worked really well out of the gate. It’s so fun to play live.”

“We were just talking about that! Could it have been Jesus Jones?”

WRONG. Jeremy Clarkson, rapper Coolio, and The Black Crowes also appeared. Although, on a religious, Jesus-y bent, presenter Alan Connor was dressed as the Pope and introduced you as “the Beach Boys on mescaline”.

“What?! [Laughs] Wild! All I remember about it was that I put black tape over my glasses so I couldn’t see the audience.”

“Pete Wentz and Travis Barker.”

CORRECT. Swift sings her track ‘Love Story’ while you and Fall Out Boy’s Wentz and Blink-182’s Barker accompany her wearing shirts and boxer shorts.

“I was a teenager when the movie Risky Business came out, so the scene of Tom Cruise dancing in his underwear was iconic and influential for my generation, so to be able to recreate it with a handful of other huge stars was a huge honour. Taylor Swift was so gracious and everyone fell in love with her when she came in the room and started talking to us. She was just like a natural-born leader.”

She hailed you as one of her “musical heroes”. Ever discussed collaborating with her?

“No, we’ve never talked about that. That never occurred to me. If she ever wants to make a rock album, I’d love to help out! I have a feeling that I would get the call from Miley Cyrus first though! [Laughs] That would be very cool.”

The verdict: 4/10

“I’m glad I didn’t do worse!” [Laughs]

Weezer are touring through 2024. For full dates, click here